What my gap year has given me!

Sometimes I find all the negatives that have happened over the past five months when I should focus on all the things that have made my gap year worth it. As I think about the upcoming classes I will take this summer and fall, I ask myself, “What were some positives?”

Don’t get me wrong, it has been a crazy ride ranging from job searching while traveling many miles in between. Not to mention the extra fun things here and there! I came to realizations and faced fears, but I also came to a point of peace and the feeling of being settled. It almost feels like I’m finishing a race where the finish line kept moving back until it was really time. I finally feel like now is that time, and I’m so proud to say I made it to the finish line!

 

--“So, tell me about all the great things that have happened to you.”

--Hold on tight. I have an exciting life. *smirks*

 

Since I had mentally quit my healthcare career, I got right back on the wagon of applying for jobs, interviewing, and shadowing—basically looking for a new career path. I would say I applied to over 50 jobs while still working almost full-time hours as a Certified Nursing Assistant in the hospital I had been at since 2021.

I interviewed with two marketing firms, one being at 9 am after getting off a twelve-hour shift at 6 am, two hours away. (I got a ticket in the mail two months later for barely running a red light trying to get home that night. I thought about pleading that I had been up for 36 hours and was running off Taco Bell and a 5-Hour Energy I had bought halfway through the two-hour drive.) Anyway, marketing is cool, but not for me.

Working as a Sushi waitress isn’t for me, either. The restaurant owner made that decision after interviewing me and realizing I knew nothing about sushi. I was willing to study the menu, though.

I also job shadowed as an endoscopy tech for the biggest hospital in St. Louis, Barnes, in the GI Department. Everything was going great for the process, so I thought it was a good time to start getting serious about an apartment. I found the perfect place in University City, right on Delmar Blvd! Well, then I was informed I had competition for the job position. They took the other candidate because she was internal, so there went the job and the apartment. To say I wasn’t disappointed would be a lie, but I decided to take a step back and realize that maybe St. Louis wasn’t my intended destination.

*Pause* I might need to add that I had put in my two-week notice at the hospital two weeks before finding out that I didn’t get the job… yikes.

I went back to waitressing at the local bar and grill in my hometown, which I had worked at in high school. God bless the owners and living in a small community, for I was welcomed back with open arms. I worked Monday-Friday lunch hour, had my regulars, had customers that kept coming back, and I left with a positive financial aspect that I had forgotten about, the tips. I work hard for the tips I make, but my customers generally leave happy, and that’s what matters!

Since outpatient and bedside nursing wasn’t working for me, I thought I’d try being a Home Health Aid. That lasted two days because something about walking into an unknown place ALONE didn’t sit right with me. That’s all that needs to be said.

Believe it or not, I was a traveling queen between all that! Besides the countless trips back and forth from St. Louis and Quincy, I flew to Montana with family and drove myself to Kansas City for a Gala where I celebrated being Type 1 Diabetic for 10 years. I also bought a plane ticket to Florida for a girl’s trip with one of my best friends (I’m writing this in the JAX airport awaiting our plane home.) Later in July, I will take a train with family and two others to Milwaukee to see Zach Bryan in concert! Sometimes I remind myself of how fortunate I am to be living the life I am.

I’ve had time to do things and be around for significant moments that I wouldn’t have gotten if I were in school. I spent a whole week with my miniature bestie, where I got to take on the “mom” role, shuttling her to preschool and dance, feeding, bathing, entertaining, and all the good things like laundry and dishes, too! Quite the humbling moment and a good dose of birth control.

What else did I do?

I spent a week cat-sitting.

I volunteered for Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation.

I watched sunsets at the lake and started a blog.

I lived at home, earned money, and spent time with family when I could.

I treated my anxiety with the help of therapy and a psychiatrist.

I grew my friendship with Emma, who is now my townhouse roommate.

I watched my two childhood friends enter motherhood and welcomed their babies into the world.

I decided I’d go back to school to finish an associate degree so I can choose later what I want to do.

I got my independence back and am slowly learning what it’s like to live in your 20s.

Most importantly, I realized and finally accepted that everyone is on their own timeline. What you do later in life may be what people are doing now. I have been convincing myself all this time that I have control over what is happening when I obviously don’t. But as Emma would say to validate me, “You’re doing the damn thing!”

 

With love,

Jenna K.