Love, Ms. Jenna

      I've had the privilege of being "Miss Jenna" to many kiddos this past school year, and it has been unforgettable. I have a memory book with "I love you" notes and drawings explicitly made with me in mind. I wrote each of them a note for the end of school, thanking them for being the first and only students I'll teach in a school setting--I have definitely crossed teaching off the list of 'Things I don't Want To Be.' I also got to work with the teachers who taught me growing up, which was a great experience. Not to mention, I learned to set boundaries and grew in who I was. Some days I didn't think I could make it through the year, but I did, and it was so worth it. 

      The numerous projects led me to find my calling: graphic design. I created assignments, visual aids, schedules, door decor, filing systems, and ended the year with memory books that held this past year's projects and pictures of them at their proudest and happiest moments of either 2nd, 3rd, or 4th grade years. It was a project that I put my entire existence into because I wanted them to have this to remember a great year. I didn't procrastinate but kept up with it, which helped my sanity with the already hectic end-of-the-year checklist. 

     Not only was I loved by my students, but also by the students of all the classes. I was the person who walked and talked with all of them. I sat with them at breakfast and created a safe and reassuring feeling that teachers are a safe place to be themselves. With a set of twin girls in 1st grade, you'd see me doing a silly handshake with them as we said goodbye after walking them back to their rooms from breakfast. I connected with each student on their own level of comfort and with their interests in mind. For a couple of students, I bought them a book from the book fair so that they had an encouraging message that they could look back on a few years from now and remember to be kind and to believe in themselves. 

One of the teachers I taught with was my mom, Mrs. Kelley, who taught 2nd grade. As you can imagine, I was in this room often. Whether I was coming to steal a piece of candy or there to relay a message/assignment, those kids were so special to me. On the last day of school, they made me letters with butterflies, rainbows, and drawings of my animals with encouraging words like, "Hoffley you have a good colage!" and "Well miss you!" (Typos intended.) They had me sit with them on their read-aloud carpet as my mom read Last Day Blues by Julie Danneberg, and they used my shoulders as resting spots for their heads as they listened and reacted to the all-too-familiar feelings described in the book. They each gave me hugs and told me one more story before heading to lunch and recess, then heading home. Bittersweet is one word that was used in the book, and man, they were right. 

The thing about these kids is that I needed them as much as some needed me. I learned my strengths and weaknesses and worked on myself WITH the kids. I was open and honest if I had messed up or said something without thinking. I showed them that apologizing as an adult comes from a lot of practice apologizing as a kid. I let them be aware of my animals, the important people in my life, and what I was doing later that night or over the weekend. 

I talked with them about these things so they could understand that their teachers are humans, too. And because they deserve to know who I am outside of those four walls. It helped us create a connection. Isn't that what teaching is supposed to be about? Inclusion, connection, setting good examples, learning to communicate, and what healthy relationships look like when all they may see are confusing and hard to talk about. Talking in encouraging tones, with helpful, not criticizing feedback, can go a long way. And I'll admit, at the beginning of the year, I caught myself using the wrong tones, words, and approaches to helping them learn. After long conversations with myself, I'd check myself and have a one-on-one with that student, explaining why I should have used better words or thought about what I would say before doing so. 

Why? Because we are supposed to set good examples. 

Whether that example is made after a not-so-good example is important because they need to see that even adults make mistakes and are put in positions to apologize. Setting those examples will hopefully plant a seed in them as they go through their lives, making mistakes, but owning up to them will lead them to a brighter future. This mindset isn't just about the teachers; it's about the parents at home. Teachers can teach all they can, but it's up to the parents to instill those taught techniques that will help them better understand this confusing, cruel, and weird world. 

That encouraging message I mentioned earlier is a simple line from Noah Kahan:

You're gonna go far! You can do hard things.

Love, Ms. Jenna