Grief is like Glitter

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I’m grieving. 

But in a way that is silent and functional. 


I can’t stop buying things to lay at their graves. 

I try to keep the flower arrangements up to date based on the seasons. 


I can’t listen to certain songs unless I’m in the right headspace. 

“I Wish Grandpa’s Never Died” by Riley Green is a heart-wrenching pain for me. 


I haven’t even tried listening to Amazing Grace My Chains Are Gone. 

That was the last song sang as he died and to conclude his funeral. 

Their pastor has a beautiful voice that took his spirit to heaven’s front door. 


My heart hasn’t been the same since May 20, and I have said that something in me changed that day she died. 

My heart was still mourning my grandma, and then we buried my grandpa exactly 9 months later. 


Cancer is a thief. 

It snuck up so quietly and quickly that I felt robbed of my time with him. 


Stage 4 colon cancer. 

It took him from this beautiful life he created. 


It stripped his dignity and ripped my heart from my chest. 

I feel broken, like physically broken. 


I miss feeling what life was like before the dreaded day in May 2024. 

But honestly, I can’t even remember what that felt like except for the fact that I had my grandmas and one grandpa.

My other grandpa passed in 2021. 


Today is Grandma Lois’s 1st heavenly birthday. 

I wish I spent this day with her last year.


I don’t know how to shake this feeling. 

It’s interrupting my life and relationships. 


One thing I do know, 

I was fortunate to have all my grandparents for 18 years. 


I’m 22 now. It’s only been 4 years. 

And those years haven’t been easy on me. 


Grief is like glitter. 

It's hard to brush away. 


From a broken, but functioning heart,

Jenna K.

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