My Tribute to my Grandpa

     Wednesday night, the family gathered at our hometown hospital and said goodbye to someone who gave us such a good life and memories to remember. If you don't know him, he was Roger Dunham. A husband, a father, a grandfather, a great-grandfather, a farmer, and a community man. Most mornings, you could find him with his coffee pals at a local gas station or diner. At every game or event, you'd see him with a great big smile on his face. As kids, he was the grandpa you wish every kid your age had because they missed out on what having an awesome grandpa was about. 

    He taught me to drive the Gator when I was 10 years old. He turned the barn's hayloft into a play area for us kids. He built a playhouse out back and filled it with all the most significant things to have as a child. We played 'survival' and would cross the gravel road to hit the creek for treasures, and he paved a path so we could get there safely. He taught us that work mattered and would send us out to the fields for an hour, then we'd come back, and he'd be waiting there with $20 for each of us, and grandma would have a snack ready. On days when we were too sick for school, we knew it was a day we got to spend at the farm. I'll admit that sometimes I faked it just so I could be with them. Sorry, mom. 

    I could go on and on about the life he gave his grandkids. I could tell you about the 'clean plate club' or how he called every one of us "kiddo." He always had to go through all the J names before getting to mine when calling me out... "Jame, Jill, Jen," every time. I always giggled. But telling you stories isn't what I'm here to do. I'm here to tell you about Roger Dunham. 

    Roger Dunham was a veteran who served in Korea during the Vietnam War. He met my grandma at Southern Illinois University in Carbondale, Illinois. They got married shortly after meeting, and then he was drafted. His wife, Charlotte, kept herself busy teaching while he was away. After the war, they had three children, Craig, Jamie, and Jill. Then came eight grandchildren, and recently, they became great-grandparents to a sweet baby girl. In that time, Rog and Char hit the milestone of 60 years of marriage! They live on a farm in New Salem, IL, that holds generations of learning, love, and memories. 

    With everything that has happened over the past couple of months, word travels fast in a small community, love is shared, and stories are told. I've learned that Roger Dunham has taught other men how to show up and what a true man looks like. I've been reminded that he was always so nice and gentle with how he went about life and the relationships he possessed. He was an inspiration to other farmers and wanted everyone to know what God did to make his life the greatness that it was. He was a Godly man who showed up to church each Sunday and sang bass in the choir while his wife played the organ. I believe this was his way of spending time with her. They were church elders together and always demonstrated God's glory in a way that most find hard to grasp.

    Their relationship was pure, and it has set a level of expectation for our own relationships and lives that lay ahead of us. In an impromptu interview in his final weeks I put together, I asked, "What do you want your children and grandchildren to remember most about you?" His response was this:

"Well, I would like to say live a beautiful life, which everyone seems to be doing and we'll always love our grandchildren and great-grandchildren, I assume. We have a perfect family now. They are loved and that is the most important thing. To love and show that love."

    Last night, I got to say goodbye to you, which is something I didn't get with my other grandparents. I asked God why he had to take Grandma Lois in May of 2024 and you in February of 2025. It's just not fair. I promised we would take care of Grandma. Letting go of your hand was the hardest thing I've ever done. You squeezed my hand twice, and it was how I knew you were saying goodbye, too. 

I'll save you a seat at all the big moments. My college graduation, my wedding, the birth of my children, and all the moments that come after that. They'll know who you were and what you taught me. I will raise my kids mirroring the way you raised your children and grandchildren. We are who we are because of the life you and Grandma gave us. Thanks for being the kindest, most involved Grandpa I could have asked for. God knew what he was doing, making you our Grandpa.

***Cue "I Wish Grandpas Never Died" by Riley Green

I love you with all my heart. Rest easy and say hello to Grandma Lois and Grandpa John for me. I miss them and you so much. 

Your kiddo,

            Jen Jen