A Letter to my Grandma-

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 I went to your grave tonight and switched out the flowers that were put there six months ago when we buried you. I brought Sami, my dog, to meet you, but we didn't stay long because it was so cold. Which is crazy because May 20th, 2024, was one of the hottest days of the summer. But there you were, still mowing the yard like you loved to do. 

Since that day, so much has changed. Something in ME changed. I moved to your house and got comfortable with the life you lived out here on a dead-end road. I no longer look at the sunset and wonder who the artist is. I talk to the sky as if you're standing right over me. I grew a beautiful flower garden, which I have never done before, and somehow, more keep blooming. You left me your green thumb, and now I have a new appreciation for nature. My heart grew bigger, and now I have 4 kittens found in the barn, 2 adult cats with a total of 3 eyes, and an Australian shepherd-Labrador mixed dog who keeps me safe and reminds me of the incredible life she has now. We also tried to save a severely injured cat from the side of the road; we brought her home, got her warm, and I sat with her until 10:30, but by morning she had crossed the rainbow bridge. She was a beautiful long-haired black and white cat that is now buried under the tree near where you were found. We named her Sweet Girl and found a cross in one of your totes. We marked her grave, and later on, we heard a phantom meow from the bathroom where she died. I believe she was saying "Thank you" for bringing her back to where her spirit was. If she didn't have a home before, she does now. 

As for the future, I don't know what is to come. I plan to give your house and land as much love and care as I possibly can for the time I am here. I know it will be the hardest day of my life when I move out to go after my next adventure. Tonight I asked for a sign for validation as to what I am here for. I realized the best way to honor your memory is by living the best life I can. If I learned anything from you, it was that you were always looking for me to go far and do something great. When Grandpa died in 2021, he told me the same thing; to keep going. I spent a lot of time with him in those last days, something I didn't have the chance to do with you. However, I am thankful that we had our bacon dates where we talked as you cooked bacon that was only for me. I loved every moment with you. 

It's coming up on the holidays and it's going to be so different without you. I took a picture of your living room on November 28th, 2023, almost a year ago, and knew that these last visits with you needed to be cherished. It was nearly December, and you hadn't put up your Christmas tree yet. Christmas was your favorite holiday because of our Christmas Eve dinner tradition, where we would come out before our church service to eat a homemade meal and open presents with you. I already have your house decked out in Christmas, with a tree in the corner and an angel on top. I'll miss you this year. 

Something that I'll never forget is knowing you waited to see me get my associate's degree because it was only 3 days later that God took you home.  The hope of me finishing school kept your broken heart together long enough to watch me see it through. You waited for your youngest and only granddaughter to achieve a milestone. Thank you for sticking around. Now it's time to go, but knowing you've got Grandpa, Uncle Tim, Aunt Crystal, and now Sweet Girl sitting beside you up in heaven, I have guardian angels for the rest of time.

I'll love you and Grandpa forever. 

-Jen

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