Recap of 2023-- A monthly summary leading me where I am now

 Hi, friends. It's been a while-- Who am I kidding?-- It's 2024, and a whole lot has happened last year. I want to share what experiences and milestones I (unknowingly) encountered which has set me up for a hopeful and promising year to come!

To tone this down, I'll summarize each month, so if you start getting bored, just remind yourself there are only 12 months. Eventually, the list will end. There was just a lot of sh*t that went on in 2023. So, let's begin! :)

JANUARY: I stated that my goal for 2023 was to be more selfish, as in loving and doing more things for myself since all I knew was living for others. I set a goal for myself to read a book, regrow my Christian faith, and make money (typical response). It was my first month of not having school to worry about since I had decided to take a gap year from nursing school at the end of 2022. The freedom and change were a strange feeling, but it gave me a sense of what working a full 40-hour week in healthcare was like and time to spend with friends and family I had been away from. I took many trips back and forth to St. Louis, keeping up with my friends and old life there and staying steady with therapy. I was able to watch two of my high school friends grow a human and celebrate their milestones which made me thankful for being closer. 

FEBRUARY: I spent a lot of time with Eliza (the 5-year-old I babysat since birth) this month and made up for lost time while I was away at school. My plaque psoriasis was at an all-time high, and I hated looking at my skin in the mirror. I even wore long-sleeved shirts to the gym because the flare-up was worse when I started sweating. I missed living in StL and wanted to be back, so I explored every job and career I could get my hands on. For example, I interviewed for a marketing firm at 9 am after working a 12-hour night shift in the ER back at home. I even interviewed for a sushi host and was told she couldn't offer me a job because of my "lack of experience" which is completely valid considering I have never eaten sushi. My final attempt consisted of job shadowing a gastrointestinal unit at Barnes, touring an apartment, and having to back out because they chose the other candidate. My attempts were failing, and I wasn't meant to be there.

MARCH: This month, I hopped on a plane to Bozeman, Montana, where I watched my cousin get married and took in the breathtaking views with my brother and grandma. I did a lot of soul-searching on this trip which felt heavy, but freeing to know I had addressed issues within me. Little did I know I just needed a fresh perspective and my grandmother's wise words. I came to the conclusion that a healthcare career wasn't for me right now. I came to terms with knowing that I had become numb to so many things and I was too young to be burnt out. I said goodbye to my Jacksonville hospital family and packed away my stethoscope for if I ever come back to it. A happy milestone this month was that Mr. Westyn was born, and I welcomed him into the world and watched his mama enter into motherhood. Kaitlyn, I'm blessed to be Aunt Jenna!

APRIL: As the warmer months started to set in, I spent more time outside and found myself at the lake near my house, where I would sit for hours. This month, a HUGE moment for me was attending the St. Louis JDRF Gala, where I was a bid spotter for an auction. On the way home, I encountered an accident and was one of the first people who stopped. I helped pull a girl from an overturned car and get her into my car until an ambulance arrived. It was a weird sign, but it was God's way of putting me in the right place at the right time! I forgot I also ruled out home health care after two days of trying it. Something didn't sit right with me. This month, Mr. Hudson was born, and I had two babies to love. Grace, I'm doubly blessed to be Aunt Jenna! 

--Hang in there. We're getting to the good part!

MAY:  I attended another Gala but in Kansas City, MO. I also took a weekend and flew solo to Florida to meet up with a friend, went to the beach, and flew back home together. I moved to Jacksonville with my good friend, who also needed a fresh start. We got settled in and met our neighbor. The three of us spent many evenings on the back porch, laughing, singing songs, and having random dance parties in the living room. At the end of the month, we almost lost our friend to mental illness, and it made me start prioritizing and valuing life. Maybe things happen for a reason, but I gained two best friends. He's still living, and I got to keep his cat, Luka Booka. 

JUNE: We all spent this month healing and having conversations we didn't think we'd have. I specifically took what happened and told myself that I had to start prioritizing my mental health because this illness has the ability to take too many people too easily. I took trips to visit my friend at college and went to St. Louis with my roommate and her sister. I started waitressing at Buffalo Wild Wings and took my neighbor to my hometown fair and to show him where I grew up! 

JULY: My family vacation this year was a trip to Milwaukee, WI, and a Zach Bryan concert! Ryan and I were able to bring a friend. I brought Ashley, who grew up with me, and Ryan brought his college roommate, Alex. It was such a good bonding experience with my parents because we were all adults. It made for a great trip! I started taking college classes to prolong the payment of student loans. I went back to Lincoln Land Community College where I met people destined to cross my path, but I would have never happened if I had stayed where I was. I also went to Six Flags and took a lot of pictures of our cats, Luka and Schmidt. 

AUGUST: Wasted time, money, and energy on a neighbor boy (a different neighbor) who I thought I could fix. It turns out he was the biggest lesson I learned in the most short-lived period of time. I worked a lot of waitressing shifts (and lost faith in humanity's ability to tip their server), was taking 4 college classes, went to pottery nights, and got involved with a church where I gained a mentor and a church family. I was in my "almost 21" glowing era, where I thought the world was going perfectly. 

SEPTEMBER: My birthday week was everything I could have asked for. However, I didn't ask for what followed two days later. My car was stolen from the parking lot where I lived while I was still awake, at home alone. My Hyudai was my baby. I was going to run her until the wheels fell off. But a low-life decided to take my car (personal crisis), along with my SS card (identity crisis), leaving me desperate and vulnerable to the wicked ways of evil people. I lost all faith and hope for myself and simply didn't want to have to pick up the pieces. I kept asking myself, "Why did this happen to me?" 

SEPTEMBER CONT.: It was a long month. Eventually, all the pieces started to come back together; with a lot of sadness, confusion, fear, embarrassment, and support, the story got easier and lighter to tell. You have to admit, it's kind of a kick-ass story with an overall lesson learned: "If you're desperate, keep being desperate." I walked into my speech class and asked my professor if I could give an impromptu speech. Of course, without hesitation, I was granted permission. I wish I could have taken a time-lapse of my fellow classmates as they listened to my little story because their reactions were priceless. A highlight of September was that I was able to see $uicide Boy$ in concert with my roommate, and it was a surreal moment for our friendship. 

OCTOBER: On my brother's 25th birthday, my dad and I had planned to go buy a new car because there still hadn't been any word since it was stolen. That was until my dad was on his way to pick me up when the detective called to inform me that the car had been found in an abandoned parking lot and was being transferred to close by so I could come "retrieve my things." We went and found a new car for me because insurance was still claiming the car totaled. I went to get my "JENN 78" plates, and all of my things were there. Nothing had been touched. My identity was safe. My things were still mine. It all turned out okay. The rest of the month was filled with normalcy and happy things. We also got a Ring camera for the house (I feel safer here now.)

NOVEMBER: Cue "Fell in Love in November" or "November Air" because this month brought me the most clarity. Do you guys recall my brother's roommate who went on our family vacation earlier in July? After a couple universal acts of irony, we ended up in the same cities on the same nights. We ended up loving each other's company and started combining our brains to come up with some awesome dreams. Because of the holidays and distance between us, we were quick to meet the family and whatnot, but with him (since he was Ryan's roommate since 2019), it all came easy to us. I simply don't remember life before he came into the picture. 

DECEMBER: The love between Alex and I grew, and we are now planning for what our life could look like if we stick through this crazy thing called life together. We showed each other that we aren't hard to love from a lover's point of view. We found music as our love language, and we made an hour and twenty-minute drive to each other, feeling like we just had to get to them at the finish line. I graduated from Lincoln Land with an Associate in Arts Degree (where I didn't lose my mental sanity) and started a job at a local bank as a Bank Teller (very different from healthcare). I also decided to take my biggest step in faith and get baptized on Christmas Eve with my family, a couple of my friends, and my boyfriend, all supporting my decision. I don't know where I'd be if it weren't for God. I made it through 2023 because I gave control to a higher power than myself. 

Damn. You made it. Thanks for coming along for the ride and I hope my journey meant something in some way to you. Life is so messy, but there are sunsets, good people, and a great God. For that, I guess it means we'll all be okay in the end. Just have faith! 

With Love, 

Jenna K.