The Goal for 2023:

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More Selfish, Less Selfless


--"What do you mean, Jenna? People don't like selfish people." 

--I know, but an even balance between the two would be helpful for my own self-worth. 


I have trouble accepting the motto, "My self-worth is not determined by others." 

Last night, I watched my church service online, and my pastor ended the message with a very powerful idea for all of us college students to ponder as we went on with the week.

He pointed to himself and said, "More glory here, more desire here, more attention here, more longing here, more for myself." 

I live for other people. Whether that means picking up a shift to help out, giving a friend a ride, listening, and giving advice when I might be going through my own struggles. It's on a rare occasion that I do something for myself. 

In a sense, I need to allow myself to be more selfish in many ways. I need to love myself. My goal for this year is to do things for myself that gives me a feeling of self-worthiness. Some ways I want to be "selfish" may seem silly, but to me, they'll make me appreciate myself more. I want to read a book, continue writing this blog, grow my Christain faith, make money, and use my athletic background to workout and get healthy again. 

I'll feel accomplished by reading a book and writing.  I'll feel saved by regrowing my faith. I will feel like I earned the money I made. And I'll feel confident by working on my body image. Overall, I want to feel proud of myself. 


--"But Jenna, those aren't selfish tasks." 

--I know, but to me, they're so much bigger than something simple to others. And that's okay to feel superior to inferior things in life. Small wins are still wins. 


I want to feel on top of the world because I've felt stuck for so long, living for other people. I'm ready to live for myself! 

Even writing that last sentence is odd because how do I do that? How do I live for myself? Well, as many have told me, take it day by day. Give yourself credit for what you mean to other people. Don't get discouraged when something doesn't go your way. Live like your presence in this world means something. Because it does! You matter, and I matter in two very different ways, but the individuality of each of us is a beautiful masterpiece that somehow keeps the Earth spinning on its axis. 

So here's to 2023 and to living for myself! I hope you find ways to make your life worth loving in an aspect that is healthy for you and your journey. 


With Love, Jenna K. 


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