Being the Mom Friend

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What better way to write about being the Mom Friend than me taking on 'mom duty' for a week watching a little girl that I treat as my own? She claims this is a "bacation" for both her parents and us. It always makes me chuckle. 

Moving on. 

I am a mother and don't have any of my own kids. But in a sense, I do. Being the 'mom friend' gives me a purpose by making me reliable and giving others a reason to need me. 


--"But Jenna, surely your friends would still need and love you even if you were a bit unhinged. You take care of others more than yourself."

-- Well, here's the thing, I may be unhinged and feel like I NEED the validation of caring for others to feel better about my purpose in life. 


I also love being the 'mom friend.' 

Need a ride? I'll take care of you.

Want to go out but not risk driving? I'll take care of you. 

I'm more than just a designated driver. 

Need a bandaid? Tylenol? Maybe ace wrap an ankle? I'll take care of you. 

(I'm a CNA. The nursing background in me comes out.)

Need me to fold your laundry or do the dishes if you cook us food? I'll take care of you. 

(I'll admit that I'm not a chef.)

Need to go grocery shopping or clean up the apartment? I'll take care of you.

(I'm a task-oriented list maker and use cleaning/organizing as a comfort measure.)

Want someone to talk to with no judgment? Is advice needed? I'll take care of you. 

(I'm experienced.)

Need to make an appointment or maybe talk to the college admissions office? I'll take care of you. 

(I'm persistent and confident in talking to others.)

You get the point. 

I have a purse full of essentials and a heart that wants to help others, in whatever way it may be. However, sometimes my motherly instincts come off as "too much," which is something I've been working on. 

I want to tell those who never asked me to "mother" them that I'm sorry if I overstepped. I'm sorry if you didn't ask for help, and I gave it to you anyway. I just care too much. 

Finally, my therapist told me the other day that I can't be a mother and a girlfriend when that time comes in my life. My friends appreciate that part of me, but I'm afraid my instincts will come off too strong in a relationship. I try to remind myself that I won't want to be a mother to my partner. I want a balance between who takes care of who in certain situations. Ultimately, I desire to be taken care of the way I care for others. 

One day, I will have everything I deserve. Until then, I'll continue being the 'Mom Friend.'


With Love, 

Jenna K. 

Location: Pike County, IL, USA

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